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𝓦𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓦𝓮𝓭𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓭𝓪𝔂
“When you lose someone you love, you gain an angel you know.”
Today my sister turns 55.
It has been quite a tough year and a half. Time definitely helps, but there are still moments of sadness and sorrow that come out in a deep wave of pain, welling up in tears of,
“I can’t believe she’s really gone.”
Grief catches you by surprise and comes out in the most obscure moments and it takes over your whole presence.
The morning of Bonnie’s funeral, we were gathered in her kitchen as my nephew Marc walked in and handed me this photo of us. I was overcome with emotion. She remembered me. He said it was the only picture out in her art studio.
I was so moved that my sister had that photo of us. Out to be seen where she created with her bare hands. Expressed herself from the depths of her soul… It was a beautiful time when we were young girls: carefree, joyful, sharing sisterhood. Moments and memories of us playing together - everything from secretary to grocery store - we could play for hours and hours and we genuinely had so much fun together. Our relationship changed as the years went on and that carefree easy sister bond wasn’t always at the top of our gatherings.
Today I’m wearing my sister’s chestnut colored Jimmy Choo snakeskin heels. They hug my feet imbuing me with her signature traits of being solid, grounded, empowered, present, and strengthened. Most of all, they make me feel connected to Bonnie.
I inherited most of my sister’s shoe collection. She had exquisite top of the line taste. Always of the moment. She only knew of the best.
At first I was worried about stepping into her shoes… physically, spiritually, and metaphorically, but there are no Jewish laws against it and the Rabbi said - if they feel good, wear them.
My sister had this incredible sense of power. She was like a rock. There’s so much more I wish she could have taught me. That I could have learned from her. We had our differences over the years, but now things are different. Even though we may be farther apart, we’re closer than we’ve ever been.
She comes to me in my dreams
She encourages me when I need direction
And she makes me believe I have the strength to do it all
Most times things don’t happen the way we think they’re going to. We have to adapt, learn, and grow, from the twists and turns of life.
This picture sits on my altar as a reminder that she’s here, she’s with me, she surrounds me, she’s guiding me from above...
Happy Birthday Bon Bon.
“When you lose someone you love, you gain an angel you know.”